The Cost of Miscommunication
There, I said it. Miscommunication. It's a word we've all been using to describe not quite getting what the other person is trying to say, or vice versa, but let's be honest - it sounds like an easy mistake. If you've ever tried to explain your point of view without coming across as aggressive and have seen the other person walk away feeling upset , then you know how dangerous miscommunication can be. This kind of misunderstanding only has negative impacts on relationships and is caused by many different factors, but there are ways to reduce its frequency or prevent miscommunication altogether. Here are a few tips to help you and your friends, family, or coworkers navigate those important discussions.
10 Tips To Avoid Miscommunication
1. Be upfront and clear about your personal motives. Conflicts naturally arise because of different perspectives, but never assume that the other person is out to get you. It could be that they are just as confused as you are about what exactly is at stake in the discussion. Before you say anything, try to figure out why your position is important to you and why someone else might disagree with it. Once you have figured that out then you will be better equipped to share this new perspective with the other person and communicate more effectively because the issue won't seem so personal anymore .
2. Be open to the perspectives of others. No matter how sure you are that your position is right, it is also important to understand why someone else might disagree with you. The more you are able to put yourself in the other person's shoes and see things from their perspective, the more likely it will be that each of you can find a solution that gives the most amount of satisfaction possible .
3. Try not to approach the problem from a "win-lose" perspective. The fact is, there will rarely be a perfect resolution for any problem. There are no easy answers, so don't waste your energy on an argument about whose way is going to be best . Instead, focus on finding a solution that pleases both of you as much as possible. Remember, there are always more ways to skin a cat, so don't be afraid to try something that hasn't been tried before.
4. Use "I" messages and avoid "you" messages when talking about your feelings. Personal attacks will only escalate an argument and make the situation worse . You want to be sure that you are sharing how you feel without placing the blame on someone else (i.e., I feel really frustrated when we can't agree on something). Then let the other person share how they feel in response (i.e., I'm sorry that you are feeling frustrated because I want this project to go well, too). By allowing each person to express how they are feeling, you can each get a better sense of what is at stake for the other person and use that information as a stepping stone for effective communication .
5. Remember that there is more to talking than just the words that you say. Body language and tone can also be very important, so be sure to maintain eye contact and speak in a mood-elevating tone of voice . If you are having trouble getting your point across, then it may be helpful to find a way of describing it using different words or visual examples .
6. Be aware that both you and the other person are very important. It's not just about how things will look if you don't come to an agreement, but it's also about what the other party feels and what they might be willing to give up to make it work . If your role in the relationship is more equal, then you need to take this into consideration. Both things are important, so try not to make decisions based on how much power you think each of you has over another person.
7. Try not to be too quick with judgements . Before you try to solve a problem with someone else, it helps if you have some understanding as to why they might say things or do things that may seem crazy from your perspective . To that end, try to step into their shoes and ask yourself if you would say or do the same thing if you were them. This is much easier than it sounds, because it really just means that you need to listen closely to what the other person says before jumping to conclusions .
8. Remember that even though you are talking about how to fix a problem, in some ways the problem still exists regardless of what solution is reached. Try not to let this reality take away from the importance of finding a mutually beneficial solution , but just be aware that things can never be completely "fixed." Also remember that not every conflict needs a permanent solution. Sometimes all it takes is a compromise that everyone can live with for a little while until the issue comes back up again.
9. Recognize the importance of understanding other people's emotions . If you are involved in a conflict with someone else, you may find yourself expressing your disapproval of their actions in order to get your point across. It is also important to understand how that person might feel about what you are saying so you can give them some context for why you are saying it . This can ease tension and help them see things from your perspective, which will enhance the effectiveness of your communication and make it more likely that they will be willing to listen to what you have to say.
10. Remember that it is okay to be wrong. No one is infallible, so be open to letting your ego get in the way. If you can, try to accept your mistakes and learn from them rather than trying to convince yourself or others that you haven't made any mistakes at all . We are all fallible human beings, so it just makes sense to admit that we don't know everything and then try our best to work through the issues together.
These tips should help you clarify the information being shared by both parties involved in a disagreement. Try them out and see if they make a difference!
Want More? Here are some great sources :
For more conflict resolution resources (including professional help), see:https://www. wikihow.com/Resolve-Conflictshttp://www.therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/xhtml/partners_relationally_focused_couple_therapy_rftcft.phphttp://www.wikihow
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