Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Cultivating Motivation
There are many things that can prevent you from living the life you want. One of those things is self-sabotage - the tendency to do something damaging to yourself, like giving up on a goal or avoiding an activity because it's challenging and difficult. It's really easy to fall victim to these feelings of lack of determination and get stuck in a rut.
But when you can identify the signs that your motivation has been dipping, it's easier to take steps towards improving your situation. Basically, self-sabotage is just difficult feeling about doing hard things sometimes.
Many people have found success with overcoming this with mindfulness meditation and journaling tools like The Bullet Journal . But here are five other tricks that have been found to help curb self-sabotage and improve your motivation.
1. Hold Self-Reflection Meditation (at least once a week)
Creating a habit of reflection is one of the most effective ways to improve your motivation. One of my favorite tools for this is mindfulness meditation. In 2018, I increased my willingness to notice negative thoughts by meditating each day for just 5 minutes, but also every evening before bed (I use the Headspace app ).
Here's how it works: You sit in a comfortable position (some research has shown that lying down increases stress and decreases productivity), close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing .
I usually start by with breathing in for the count of two and then exhale for the count of two, but there are plenty of apps that will guide you through this process.
This is meant to be a time of day for you to relax and reflect on your life. What's working? What's not working? How can you improve in the coming weeks? It's also a good time to recognize how grateful or appreciative you are.
Once I started doing this practice, I noticed that I was more willing to work at achieving my goals, since I could more easily recognize my own strengths and weaknesses (it's easier when you're not in 'goal mode' to be self-critical).
2. Talk to Yourself (in a Positive, Affirming Way)
A study of self-talk shows that there is a direct correlation between the strength of your self-talk and your overall level of motivation. Your self-talk can be positive and encouraging, or it can be negative and discouraging. If you still find yourself procrastinating despite having a good attitude towards goals, then you might have some work to do on this front
In my personal experience, I've found that taking the time to write down my goals has helped me feel more motivated. I am able to see them written down in front of me, which makes them more realistic than in my dreams . This is a huge confidence booster for making progress toward my goals.
I've also found that the act of writing them down has helped me to talk to myself (in a positive way) about them. If I'm feeling discouraged or disappointed, I can look back at my list and remember that I was initially excited about these tasks. No matter what, looking back at a completed task feels great!
3. Rewire Your Brain for Motivation
Have you ever tried to watch a sad movie when you were already in a bad mood? The whole time you're watching it, all you can think is, "I feel so sad already; why am I making myself more sad right now?"
This is because our brains are hardwired to associate emotions with the objects or persons that trigger them. Here's an example: If you hear a sad song on the radio, you automatically feel sad yourself.
This can be fixed with a simple trick called "procedural dissociation," which refers to having your brain learn how to associate any feeling with any object or person. Procedural dissociation basically means that if you associate feelings with specific stimuli, then those stimuli will no longer trigger those feelings.
The way I've found procedural dissociation to work is by reminding myself of what my attitude (and intentions) towards my goals are in the present moment. This helps me feel more positive and get excited about going after them instead of feeling discouraged because I'm not having fun doing boring tasks that I never look forward to in the first place.
4. Change Your Themes and Settings (to Feel More Motivated)
It's been proven that the colors in your environment have a direct correlation with your emotions. For example, the color blue is commonly associated with feelings of sadness or melancholy, while the color yellow is associated with joy and happiness.
You have probably experienced this at some point in time: If you're feeling down, you may go to a party or laugh at a comedy routine just to change your mood. Changing your emotional state by changing your environment can be an easy fix when you're feeling overwhelmed or unmotivated.
You can trick yourself into feeling more motivated with a few simple tricks:
- Avoid using bright and vibrant colors in your home and office. You will be surprised at how much faster you get when you stay away from this unnatural color scheme.
- Instead, use more neutral colors - especially shades of grey and black. These hues are associated with happiness, particularly greys that look like night time skies (some research has shown that photos of white backgrounds trigger stress).
- You can also put some bright objects around the room to boost your mood even further! For example, try putting a red lamp in the corner or a pair of lime green plants on the kitchen table .
- If you're feeling down or unmotivated, don't just read a book by the pool or watch Netflix. Instead, try to do something active!
If you want to know more about how to be motivated and realize your goals, check out my 4-week coaching program: Mindset Movements (bonus: I include a free guide that will get you started on this journey ).
5. Banish Procrastination Using and App (at Least 10 Times)
There are plenty of apps, websites, and books that have been developed to help curb procrastination . But if you still find yourself putting off important tasks like reading that book , writing your novel , cleaning your room , etc. - you may need to reevaluate what it is that you're procrastinating in the first place.
If you're not getting motivated after trying these methods, it may be time to take a closer look at your goals. Maybe you're not clear on what your goals are or that they are important enough for you to suffer from procrastination . In this case, consider reading more about goal-setting or reviewing the strategies I've listed in this article.
I've been using Jam (a great app ) for months now and find it incredibly motivating and helpful for time management (you can find my review here ). Try it out and let me know how it works for you!
There are plenty of other apps that you can try to help you be more productive and motivated as well. One great example is Lift , which is a great way to stay motivated and gives you points for everyday tasks. You can even set goals for more specific tasks in the app!
6. Set Yourself Up For Success
Have you ever heard that old saying, "You'll never find a job if you don't look for one"? Well, motivation isn't much different: If your environment doesn't compel you to act, then changing your mindset isn't going to do much good either .
Conclusion
So, what does it take to be motivated? Just follow these simple steps:
- Figure out what you want.
- Believe that you can obtain what you want.
- Find your "why".
- Set goals and track them.
- Rewire your brain to associate positive feelings with your goals.
- Change your theme or environment, if necessary. - Banish procrastination using an app at least 10 times. Replace it with a new habit (for example, replacing watching TV or playing video games with reading self-development books ).