Insecurity Destroyed Thousands. Are You A Victim?
How many times have you heard someone say, "Oh, I’m not insecure; I'm confident," when they're actually insecure? While it might seem like a silly thing to say, it's often the case when people put on a front. Are you willing to admit that this could be the truth for you? If so, how does knowing that make you feel? Are there any socially or physically-constrained situations in which insecurity is prevalent in your life? What do these situations look like for you and what are the effects of them on your self-esteem as well as others' perceptions of you? These questions and more can help identify insecurity in your own life. There are also many ways to combat insecurity, which will be touched upon in this article as well as tips to help you learn how to cope with it.
Insecurity is often a driving force of things like jealousy, anger, stress, depression and even hatred. These issues can all have a negative impact on your relationships with those around you. Insecurity in your life could be causing you to feel depressed or even suicidal, especially when you're unable to find the tools needed for overcoming it.
The first step to overcoming insecurity is to recognize the issue. You might not recognize the depth and severity of the issue or how bad it's affecting you, but it's important to start somewhere. And since it often tends to be something that can sneak up on you in your everyday life, taking a few steps toward ensuring its avoidance is advised.
Helping others to overcome insecurity is something anyone who wants to help should be willing to do. How can you comfort someone who's feeling insecure? Is it helpful when you need reassurance yourself? Do they need more encouragement or less? The way this type of problem is addressed plays a large role in how patient someone is and the amount of time they need to work on it.
What are your thoughts on any part of this article or about how you deal with the issue of insecurity in your life? Leave a comment and share your ideas.
Suggestions For Coping With Insecurity
1. Admit that you're possibly insecure – Many people go through life without recognizing their own insecurities and those of others around them. It's often a part of the human condition. But the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can take steps to address your own (or someone else's) problems. Confronting other people with uncomfortable facts about their life might help them to see that they're not alone and might serve as a catalyst for change. Your feedback will be appreciated!
2. Talk about your feelings – Once the issue of insecurity has been addressed, it can become easier to discover what you're feeling and how to handle them. It may help to know how and when to talk about your feelings with others or even on your own. This is likely where therapy can be extremely helpful. But also important is identifying when it's appropriate to admit your own issues.
3. Do what you say you'll do – Acting in a way that's consistent with the words that you speak will help build trust and make others more likely to respond positively toward you. If someone sees that you're willing to take action, they're more likely to see their own actions in the same light.
4. Be assertive – This can help to highlight the fact that you're confident and speak up for yourself in a manner that's authentic. Certain situations may call for being assertive, but being aggressive or overly defensive when you're not comfortable should be avoided.
5. Make it clear that you have limits – If your partner or relative is acting in a way that's causing insecurity, communicating your limits openly and directly is important. This will allow them to see you as someone who's capable of making good decisions and establishing boundaries without having to fight with you. It also helps others recognize when they've crossed those boundaries and how they should proceed within it if they want to continue the relationship in a positive way.
6. Avoid gossip – Insecure people often spread gossip because it makes them feel better about themselves by making others feel worse. But this only works in the short term and may make you look bad in the long run. Try to focus on showing a desire to help other people and avoid spreading rumors or sounding judgmental, not only to be more genuine but also to make yourself look good.
7. Ask questions of others – The best way to learn how someone feels is through asking them questions, especially when they're more comfortable talking about their feelings than you are. The same principle can apply to people you don't feel close enough with to ask them how they're feeling. You might begin with small, non-intrusive questions and build from there.
8. Accept compliments – A simple, "thank you" can go a long way in showing that you're confident in yourself and don't feel the need to play it off as a joke. It's likely that you'll feel embarrassed when receiving praise and will be tempted to react differently, but try your best to accept it graciously – even if the compliment is undeserved. This will help other people believe what they're saying when they recognize something good in you.
9. Be honest about your feelings – It's not always easy to be honest about your feelings. But it's important to understand and accept how you feel, why you feel that way and how you can move forward. You should never say something negative out of anger or resentment. Instead, try to say something positive when the two emotions are present together. The result will be more constructive for the people involved and will help them better understand why you feel the way that you do.
10. Avoid comparing yourself – Comparing yourself to others is a great way to make yourself feel bad about who you are and what you have in life. But it's important to realize that the importance of things like money, relationships and physical appearance come and go. Don't let others make you feel bad about yourself when changes occur.
11. Give others more space – This may mean being more patient with people in your life, even if they're behaving in a way that's causing you insecurity. But it also means giving them more time to work through their problems and giving them the same amount of respect and tolerance that you would expect from anyone else around you.
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Conclusion – Insecurity can be a slippery slope. One bad self-esteem day can turn into a bad week that turns into worse self-esteem issues that linger. It's important to recognize the early signs and take steps to prevent it from happening in the first place.
This was originally published on Psych Central and reproduced with permission.
Image Sources: Pixabay, Flickr CC, Thinkstock Photos
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