Put Compulsive Lying Behind You And Move On!
Lying is one of the most commonly occurring compulsions. It can be harmful to relationships and it can get in the way of your personal and professional goals. There are strategies that can help you overcome this negative behavior.
In this blog post, learn about what a compulsive liar does, how to tell if you're lying, how to stop lying compulsively and put it behind you.
Lying is one of the most commonly occurring compulsions. It can be harmful to relationships and it can get in the way of your personal and professional goals. There are strategies that can help you overcome this negative behavior.
There are several different kinds of lying. The first kind is called a 'white lie'. This includes any minor deception, like saying that you're not hungry when you are or avoiding an obvious statement like "your shoes are ugly" in order not to hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes a white lie can be necessary and justified, and you not lying in these situations will be viewed as rude.
A second kind is a 'public lie' or a lie that you tell in public. If you're caught up in the moment and there's nothing to gain by being dishonest, then it may be okay to exaggerate how successful you are, or how good something tastes, because everybody else is doing it too. But if you exaggerate often, even in these situations, then it can become a compulsion.
A third kind is called a 'pathologic lie' or an out of control lying problem. Pathologic liars will lie about anything and everything, even when it's obvious that they are lying. Their lies are more harmful than white lies because they are more widespread and they can cause damage to many different relationships over time.
Pathologic liars have lost control of their behaviors. They said they would help you when they really didn't and they said that you were being mean to them when in fact you weren't. They may make up stories about how things happened or how you were acting in order to cover up the truth. They may invent excuses for why someone has hurt them or lied about them, or come up with a story that explains what's causing their lack of social skills, like getting into legal trouble, their appearance, weight problems, etc.
Pathologic liars do not realize that they are lying. They become confused and frustrated when they are confronted with their lies. They expect others to believe what they say without question, as if their word is the only one that matters in the entire world. When others don't believe them, or catch them in a lie, they may become furious and blame others for twisting their words or treating them unfairly.
They may even believe that the lies they tell are true, and that those around them must be seeing through their lies. It is common for them to suffer from delusions of hearing voices or thinking that their words are important, much like schizophrenics.
Many pathologic liars have been known to overstep the bounds of their relationships by having affairs with people outside of their relationships. If someone is caught in a lie and gets angry at you, it is important that you don't take it personally or get defensive. Try to decipher if the person is upset with you because of your behavior or because they are lying. If it's the latter, then you can still help them by not repeating their lies and solving the problem that brought on their anger in the first place.
If you want to get better at telling white lies and getting better at exposing these public lies, then it helps to understand why these people are doing it and what keeps them compulsive liars.
People lie for a variety of reasons. People lie because they are afraid of being found out and they don't realize that not everyone will believe what they say…even when they know it isn't true. They may have an underlying motive for lying, such as wanting to be liked and accepted. Or, someone may try to manipulate others by lying in order to get their way. People who suffer from low self-esteem are the most likely to lie in order to cover up a perceived flaw, or a flaw that bothers them. Lying to cover up this insecurity can lead to a long-term pattern of lying in order to cover up the lies…which can cause large problems in their personal and professional lives.
Lies which are told for a specific reason, such as a lie that helps someone get out of a difficult situation gracefully, do not usually become compulsions. However, if the lie is repeated excessively because it has become addictive or out of boredom or something else, then it becomes a compulsion.
There are a number of reasons that someone may have lying become a compulsion. Someone may have been abused in their past and lied as a way to cope. If you were brought up to believe that lying was okay, then it can be very easy to fall into a pattern of habitual lies. Another reason for lying can be brain damage or other neurodegenerative disease, such as Huntington's Disease, Parkinson's Disease or Tourette's Syndrome.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a compulsive liar will lie about everything and anything. They throw out lies at random and they're not even consistent with their lies. They cannot tell the truth, even when it's obvious that what they are saying is not true. Their lying leads to problems with their friends, family, colleagues and partners. It can cause them to lose their jobs or to get in trouble with the law.
Some people have lying as a compulsion while others do not.