An Example Of Allowing A Desire To Arrive On Its Own
This blog post will offer a few pointers on allowing desires to arrive on their own, rather than trying to force them. We'll start by talking about what causes our desires to be blocked in the first place. This is followed by some tips for how you can let go of that blocks, which include noticing what you're asking for and finding out when it's best to ask for it, as well as accepting your feelings and deciding if it's worth pursuing that desire. Finally, we'll conclude with a few other tips before giving an example of how this attitude shift has helped someone overcome their resistance.
So how do you know what's blocking your desires?
If you look at the last two posts, you'll find that it's often two universal fears that are responsible for blocking our desires: the fear of losing something we already have or never attaining that which we desire. In order to achieve your desires, it is important to understand what is causing this resistance in the first place.
Those who know me well might recognize a few of these fears from my own life. If you're unfamilar with these fears, then let me briefly explain them:
The Fear of Losing Something You Already Have – This refers to the fear of losing something you have now that might help you achieve your goal. You might be holding onto a desire to achieve that very thing in order to avoid this fear. For example, if someone wants you to approach them, they might fear that you'll lose the initiative and they'll get left behind and be unhappy. If they know that they have something in your possession that might help you achieve this goal as well, they're also afraid of loosing it. As a result, they might not let go of the desire to approach all the same.
The Fear of Not Attaining That Which You Desire – This refers to the fear of not achieving something you desire for an even greater reason than normal desires for personal gain or pleasure; a more personal reason like wanting to experience love, happiness or acceptance from others themselves. The fear here is of not attaining the goal, which they'll then be unhappy with.
These two universal fears are what I'd like to discuss next.
Let Them Be – The issue here is that we often want a desire to arrive or seem more positive than it actually is. For example, if you're holding onto the desire for someone to approach you, and there's no way you can give them the encouragement or encouragement themselves, then the desire will not be released in attempt to make it appear that it's possible to achieve this goal.
For this reason, it is important for you to realize that desires are not true until they are realized. As long as they are held onto, they just remain fantasies. If you can make a decision to let go of the need for this desire to arrive and make it "positive" in your mind, then you can let it be something that emerges naturally.
In other words, if you can allow yourself to not get hung up on how you want things to be before they're realized or set a time frame on how long you'll try, then you won't fear the potential failure of this desire not happening in the way it was imagined. In addition, once you let go of the resistance that is born out of these fears, then your desires will naturally arrive with much more ease and within your control.
Cry Tears Of Joy – This is something that I learned from my martial arts teacher. It's about accepting and allowing your feelings, even if all you feel is happiness, yet keeping it positive. If you find yourself holding on to a negative feeling of sadness or fear, it may be the case that you need to just accept that the feeling is there without trying to make it go away, as well as of what you're feeling.
For example, you might be afraid of rejection from someone whom you really like and is a likely candidate for being interested in you yourself. You hold onto this fear because it fits with your desire/hopes for how things might work out between your two selves. You see that when the time comes to just let go and be, you recognize that it will go away eventually and there's nothing else you can do about it.
In order for the desire to fit with your hopes and dreams, though, you'll need to keep feeling a happiness. The idea is that if you don't allow yourself to get caught in these kinds of feelings, then they'll just fade away eventually.
Accept Your Feelings – This is something my sister taught me as well: accept your feelings and let them be whatever they might turn out to be. As you let go of the resistance to these feelings, they will be just as fleeting and short-lived as your fears.
If it's the desire for someone to approach you, then it may be that you are afraid of being rejected if they don't. So with this, you'll find that although you still feel sadness and fear at their rejection, that you'll come to know that it was just a passing feeling and not proceed from there, even if your dreams shatter around about not having them approach at all.
In addition to letting go of these feelings and fears, this can also help clarify what you're asking for from others in general. Since you can't gauge how someone feels about you, it's important to ask and understand what their feelings are from them.
What You're Really Asking For – This can be hard to realize sometimes, but it's important for you to clarify what you're actually asking for. You might be asking for something that seems like a subtle hint at first glance; as long as you're asking for something that fits well with your hopes and dreams, then it could be passed off as something innocent at the time.
Does this mean that your desires will come true?
No, not necessarily.
The trick is to not hold onto that desire for the reason of it coming true; this will often cloud your judgment of what's actually happening and make it seem that your dreams are coming true when they aren't. In addition, you'll often come to see your desires as impossible when they might not actually be out of reach to begin with.
In order for a desire to make your dreams come true, it is important for you to simply let go and accept what happens. If you're happy with the way things turn out to be, then that's great; if not, then let go of the resistance and remember that things will change.
If you're happy with the way things turn out (whether they be good or bad), then by letting go of resistance, you're already becoming happier. That is, you'll be able to let go of this desire for the way things are supposed to be more easily and in less fear.
Letting Go Of Resistance – As I've said before, resistance can come from a number of sources: fear, internal expectations and worry about failure. If these things are what's holding you back from moving forward, then it is time for you to bring yourself over it.
Conclusion –
Even though the number one thing you want to let go of is resistance, there are a few others that you might want to pay attention to as well.
The desire for things to be different than they are, and letting go of the fear that leads to wanting them because they aren't the way we want them.
Even though it may seem like desire is tied up in all these concepts, I've tried my best to explain it here in words that don't make it sound too complicated. If you're new to this concept, I strongly recommend reading about TM and how it works for beginners as well as trying out meditation and TM with someone close.