Wisdom and Conflict Resolution
People often talk about the concept of conflict resolution in a group, but what about individual conflicts? When you're looking for advice on how to resolve conflict from within yourself, there are many helpful resources available. This article aims to highlight some of those resources and any benefits they might bring.
Being aware that your thoughts can sometimes be self-destructive is just the first step towards overcoming this problem. Next, consider these strategies for resolving conflict with yourself:
- Make a list of your most stressful conflicts with yourself (whatever comes to mind).
- Create an action plan that includes thinking realistically about how long it will take and what you'll specifically do during each day.
- Use a self-tracking app to keep track of the number of times you feel anxious, depressed or angry.
- Practice mindfulness: Notice what you feel and think (without judgment). This action is not just about avoiding self-harm; it's about learning how to relax when in stressful situations. For example, if you often start to feel down, don't immediately try to solve the problem by working harder. Instead, take several breaths and notice what thoughts are going through your mind. What can you do about these thoughts?
- Do something for yourself: Take a break, exercise or even go outside for some fresh air. This will help you to relax and move on. Be sure to have your phone out of sight so you don't distract yourself from the task at hand.
- Set a time and date for when you'll finally work through it. Don't keep this in your mind for too long; it's important that you don't forget about it.
- If needed, talk to a therapist or trusted person about what's going through your mind and how often you feel stressed. This could be an effective method of solving conflict with yourself because the therapist understands what you're going through every day and will know what's helpful for dealing with that type of situation.
- Problem-solve: Do you notice any patterns among the conflicts? If so, how can you work to avoid them in the future?
The best way to overcome conflict with yourself is to motivate yourself. You can do this in several different ways. For example, if you think that stress has taken over your life, but you're not willing to seek help from a professional, then start by making a list of all the things that stress you out: work, family, friends or finances. Then ask yourself what these things mean to you and how they might affect your future goals (for example, will working stress lead to burnout or death?). Let your imagination run wild. This will help you to motivate yourself and work through the stress while also making room for a solution.
- Ask yourself what your goals are and why it's important that you achieve them. Ask how others might be affected if you reach these goals and come up with specific strategies to meet these objectives.
- Realize that change is a process and that there will be many trials, mistakes and perseverance along the way. Make a list of all of the skills you need to acquire before achieving your goal(s), such as patience, humility or focus.
- If you're not dealing with an immediate conflict, then make a list of everything that stresses you out in general (e.g. what's bugging you at this very moment?). This will help you to recognize when a problem is becoming too big for you to handle.
- If you're not dealing with an immediate conflict, then write down all of the things that stress you out in general (e.g. what's bugging you at this very moment?). This will help you to recognize when a problem is becoming too big for you to handle.
- Create a journal that lists your goals, the progress that has been made and what is still left on your list of tasks. Be sure not to make it too detailed; just a simple list of general thoughts will be helpful and allow room for improvement over time.
- Keep a journal that lists your goals, the progress that has been made and what is still left on your list of tasks. Be sure not to make it too detailed; just a simple list of general thoughts will be helpful and allow room for improvement over time.
- Each time you're able to beat your own record in any area, be sure to write down the specific steps you made as well as the experience itself. This can help you to see how much progress you've made. This can also initiate a cycle of stress relief where you feel proud of yourself for having overcome obstacles previously thought impossible (i.e., "I'm so great at writing now!").
- Practice compassion. This is especially helpful for those who are dealing with severe mental illness. If a friend suffers from severe anxiety attacks or depression, remember that he's human and has the same thoughts and emotions as everyone else does.
- Accept that at some point you will probably feel despondent, sad or hopeless during some troublesome part of your life. Failing to do this can cause you to feel less than whole and also makes it easier to give into negative thoughts about yourself (which is self-sabotage). An important life lesson to learn here is that if you don't like the way you feel right now, then make a list of what's going on in your life (e.g. "I've been working too much, I hardly see my friends and I don't have enough time to relax"). In addition to making this list, use it as a step towards building skills that can help you to remain positive (e.g. "I need to make time for myself. Maybe I can go out with a friend this weekend for a change of pace").
- Be thankful for the fact that you're alive and that you're able to overcome obstacles in your life, even if they are thought of as "silly". Being able to deal with stress and conflict is important.
- Ask yourself what values are important in your life and how these values might be affected by your current problems. Think of how these values can be relevant to your life and how important it is that you keep them alive (e.g. "I value my relationship with my family and friends but I'm so busy working that I don't see them much anymore"). This will help you to motivate yourself to make time for what's most important in your life.
- Thank those people who are meaningful in your life for the positive things they do for you (e.g. thanking a friend for listening, or thanking your parent(s), wife or husband).
Conclusion:
By using these techniques, you'll be able to overcome conflict with yourself and enjoy a healthier lifestyle. Your confidence will increase, regardless of how bad the conflict has been. Remember that these techniques are just a starting point. Feel free to plagiarize them if you like (although there is no copyright on them). I wrote these tips from the perspective of someone who was dealing with depression and social anxiety myself.
Liked this post? Then check out my book, "My Life as a Teenage Robot". You'll find numerous other life-related topics inside!
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